Table Talk @ Cafe Mint

“Over the years I have become convinced that we learn best – and change – from hearing stories that strike a chord within us”

Professor John Kotter, Harvard Business School & author of Leading Change

Table Talk is an innovative concept that takes the age-old tradition of discussing issues around a dinner table, and transplants the conversation into a trendy Surry Hills café.

Devised by two experienced counsellors with backgrounds in psychology, training and management, Nadene Alhadeff and Ros Kennedy decided to recreate the ancient art of a meaningful dinner conversation; the original forum where knowledge was imparted, ideas explored and intimacies created through channelling personal stories.

Nadene Alhadeff & Ros Kennedy

Accustomed to running workplace training courses in corporate settings, Nadene and Ros were convinced that removing the conversation away from a stress-fuelled work environment and creating a relaxed atmosphere would allow groups to connect on a more personal, deep level.

It is a Monday night at Café Mint in Surry Hills, and 14 Gen-Ys have gathered to experience the concept first-hand. The topics on the table are mindfulness, stress management and using empowering language, and the facilitators open with a brief visualisation to focus the group.

We open our eyes, the first delicious course is served - and a spirited conversation ensues. Nadene and Ros deftly guide the conversation, coaxing personal stories from each of the participants and drawing in the latest research and providing useful, practical examples. Personal anecdotes, challenging questions and controversial experiences were shared, with a focus on Gen Y’s unique approach to stress management and the link to social expectation emerging as a common concern.

We explore the danger of words such as “should” – as in, I “should” call my grandmother, I “should” be earning x dollars per year, and the effect that this has on our wellbeing. We learn to recognise the body’s unhealthy responses to stress, and are offered practical steps to address them.

Chef Yoni Kalfus of Café Mint serves an exotic array of share plates, ranging from grilled haloumi skewers, chicken kefte ball in tomato sauce to fish and polenta. The shared food creates a convivial sharing atmosphere, with the private space allowing the group the confidence to speak our minds.

Two hours fly by, and there are many lingering questions as we wrap up the evening. With appetites satisfied and our minds inspired, the conversation flows on the journey home. A rare opportunity to discuss challenging personal concepts collectively, Table Talk provides an ideal opportunity for groups of friends or colleagues to gather, unwind and connect.

Table Talk is an initiative of Nadene Alhadeff & Ros Kennedy, in conjunction with Cafe Mint.  It costs $95 pp, and includes 3 x courses, venue hire and a facilitated discussion.   Discussions are tailored to the interests of individual groups and workplaces.

For more information, contact nadenealhadeff@yahoo.com.au or rosken@bigpond.net.au.  

I think, therefore I ... blog

I am regularly amazed, surprised and inspired by the ingenuity of friends, family and work colleagues I am lucky enough to be surrounded by.  The number of people who work full time, have projects on the side, write blogs, start businesses, help charities, study – often quietly, without fanfare or a need for recognition.  Scratch the surface and you discover such extraordinary talent and interest hiding in people you think you know well.

This manifests itself in a number of ways - I have recently stumbled across a number of blogs by friends with a unique take on life, and decided it was time to share.

Zero Dollar Amateur Baby

What do you do in your spare time if you’re a hot shot lawyer, serious touch footy player, yoga enthusiast, completing a Masters degree while navigating the expat Hong Kong social circuit?  Probably pretty bored with all that time on your hands.  Or you could just sign up for a womens’ boxing tournament and learn to fight (Hong Kong Hedge Fund Fite Night) – oh, and write a blog while you’re at it.

http://zerodollaramateurbaby.tumblr.com

17 Hours Behind

Two Aussie expats on a one year secondment to Chicago (yes, one of them may be my sister).  Hilarious take on all things American.

http://17hoursbehind.wordpress.com

Anika Patel

Creative, challenging, honest ideas for provoking thoughts and discussion – “Sometimes a good idea rattles around in your head like a loose pinball and it’s only when we share it with other people, that the idea takes shape and form”.

http://anipatel.wordpress.com

Summer in the City

Take a leave of absence from your job as a management consultant; head to the city where dreams are made of;  find an internship with a non-profit tech startup.  Easy.  Challenging? Inspirational.  Now read the blog;

http://startupsummerinthecity.blogspot.com

Eat Drink Play by Ms Darlinghurst

Ms Darlinghurst needs no introduction. Arbiter of all things trendy, foodie and fun in the Sydney social scene, she has taken the Eastern Suburbs by storm with initiatives like Secret Foodies, Sydney Bar Tours, and EatDrinkPlay.   

www.eatdrinkplay.com

Barology

A supremely creative type disguised behind a suit by day, Paul Somers and his team are passionate about the Sydney bar scene.  They are creating a community focused on bars, nightlife and innovation while using film to bring the places they visit to life.

http://www.barology.com.au

The Sweetest Truth

A med-student crazy about all things cupcake. .. “If T.S Eliot's Prufrock claimed to measure out his meagre life in coffee spoons, I believe my existence could well be quantified by the numerous measuring cups of flour, sugar and cocoa that I sift and stir each week in pursuit of baking perfection.”

http://cupcakestoentice.blogspot.com

xx Lifeafterfive*


PS. Do you write a blog? Do you have a friend who does but is too shy to share? Let us know in the comments below!

The hidden power of smiling

One smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as two thousand bars of chocolate, according to CEO of HealthTap, Ron Gutman.  As one of many who derive instant happiness from cocoa products in many forms (Tim Tams, Lindt balls and Cadbury blocks are all effective therapies which spring to mind), understanding the power of a smile provides a calorie neutral alternative.

In his TED talk ‘The Hidden Power of Smiling’, Gutman says that not only does a smile portray you as likeable and courteous – you also come across as more competent.  He refers to Charles Darwin’s ‘facial feedback response’ theory which suggests that the act of smiling itself actually makes us feel better, stimulating our brain reward mechanism.

As a child, Gutman decided he wanted to be a superhero when he grew up, and went searching for the first requirement – a superpower.  Resorting to science and research when magic wouldn’t suffice, he claims the smile to be the unrecognised superpower within all of us.  For those still searching for magic beans, OD'ing on Tim Tams or resorting to retail therapy for a pick me up, consider whether you're meeting your adult daily smiling quota of twenty times per day.

Watch Ron Gutman's TED talk;

Need a (scientifically supported) reason to smile?

•          Reduce stress
•           Live longer and happier lives
•           Have positive impressions on others

A wise man once said

Diesel Island; the land of the stupid and home of the brave

A pink goat greets us as we enter a non-descript warehouse in Alexandria, followed by crashing waves, a denim flag and a welcome line of models threatening to fight us with feather pillows. 

Welcome to Diesel Island, ‘the land of the stupid and home of the brave’.  Where cocktails are served with provocatively labelled flags, scantily Diesel-clad ‘island natives’ loll about in tree houses and Alexandra Richards (daughter of Rolling Stone, Keith Richards) DJs to over 250 well-heeled ‘pioneers’.

Diesel Island... where heels are high & goats are pink

The locals in their natural habitat

Island Law #2; Trouble makers shouldn't be sent to jail but art school

We have been invited to ‘help shape the future of this magnificent country’ at the Sydney event on 31 August 2011.  The controversial global campaign aims to provoke discussion and push boundaries by stating that the world is f**cked up, but Diesel Island is the least f**cked up country of all.

Conceived by advertising agency Santo, the campaign documents the first pioneers arriving on the tropical island – “living exciting experiences, solving some of the world’s oldest problems and holding wild parties to celebrate the birth of their nation”.

Alexandra Richards DJs to the crowd

Martin Matthews, General Manager of Brand Collective, explains that while Australians aren’t as aware of Diesel’s satirical, ironic character, the concept of challenging the status quo and rewriting the rules while having fun resonates with the Australian ethos.

The natives stand to attention as the Diesel Island anthem plays over the big screens, the cocktails are abundant and a giant seafood paella is cooked under driftwood scaffolding.  I am reminded of island law # 7 – everything that exists was once imagined.  Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be a hard sell to Aussies looking for a utopian escape.  Just be sure to reach the island before someone calls on the PM to ‘stop the boats’.


Watch the history of Diesel Island

Pioneer Jane Willesdorf enjoys a rebellious cocktail

"We prevent terrorist attacks by not pissing them off"

University revisited; The love that dare not speak it's name

“Please note; the exhibition on level 2 of the Fisher Library includes images and language which may offend some people” reads the photocopied sign at the entrance to the library. 

The walls of books, faded grey carpet and bespectacled librarians hardly indicate a tendency toward risqué material, and bored looking students barely notice the sign as they check out their books.

Revisiting university life once a week as a post-grad student, my eyes are opening to a world of stimulation, interest and activity that I either took for granted or blatantly ignored as a time-rich undergrad more interested in magazines than class content.

With education repositioning itself as a privilege not a chore, I am discovering a smorgasbord of events, exhibitions and resources at my fingertips.  Accustomed to the pay-as-you-go world of corporate working life, it is like being a kid in an educational candy store (though sadly, the majority do take place during working hours and are therefore still inaccessible).

‘The love that dares not speak its name; same se*x desires in the Victorian world’ exhibition in the rare books section of Sydney Uni's Fisher Library offers a glimpse into a bawdy past through the lense of literature.

With original, aging books on display for perusal, one is invited to experience a topical modern genre which has actually been under scrutiny in various guises for centuries.  The title phrase was aptly adopted from the 1984 Lord Alfred Douglas poem ‘Two Loves’, and also featured in Oscar Wilde’s gross indecency trail.

Book such as The Well of Loneliness (1928), Dos Sexuallenben der Afrikaner (1908) and a French history of Prostitution (1881) delve into the detail through illustrations, text and research.  The exhibition is complete with a surprisingly lurid reconstruction of a 19^th Century peep show.

Despite the shock value, the library is hushed and the exhibition ignored as students tap away at laptops, slip out for coffees and seem oblivious to the original 1911 Henry Lawson manuscripts clamouring silently for attention. Open to the general public, grab your slouchiest jumper and slope back into student mode – you might actually appreciate it this time around.

The Fisher Library is part of the University of Sydney.  Details of 2011 exhibitions can be found here

ELSC presents 'The Economics of Happiness'

The King of Bhutan introduced the world’s first Gross National Happiness (GNH) index in 1972, a concept which has since been adopted by governments in Europe and Canada.  Monitoring indicators of a nation under the pillars of sustainable development, cultural values, natural environment conservation and good governance, the purpose is to ensure focus by governments on contributors to happiness and reduce the emphasis on GDP growth as a measure of success and prosperity.  The GNH is based on empirical research literature of happiness, positive psychology and wellbeing.

It was under this banner that the Emerging Leaders of Social Change was established.  Initiated by a pub conversation (where ideas have a habit of brewing), the group aims to bring together young professionals in the corporate, public and non-profit sectors as a forum for sharing ideas and collaboration.

A core focus of the ELSC is to encourage Australians to participate in The Big Conversation, an initiative to assist the federal government understand what our society values when determining indicators to feed the National Wellbeing Framework being developed by the government.

“'Going local' is a powerful strategy to help repair our fractured world – our ecosystems, our societies and our selves” Helena Norberg-Hodge

The trend towards localisation and away from globalisation was the topic of discussion at the most recent ELSC ‘collaboratory’, where Helena Norberg-Hodge’s documentary The Economics of Happiness was screened.  While alarmist in its description of the  ‘8 Inconvenient Truths of Globalisation’, the positive impact of society's movement towards sustainable communities and increased connectivity with those geographically close resonated with the audience.   Pointing to examples such as local food movements, growers markets and eco-villages emerging in big cities around the world, those interviewed in the documentary outlined the social and economic benefits of what it calls ‘economic localisation’.

These benefits include;

• Understanding the impact of our choices, made easier when the supply chain is contained within one’s realm of influence;
• Environmental benefits, with less energy being consumed when goods are produced and consumed locally;
• The retention of ‘grandmother’s knowledge’, the strengthening of community bonds and a sense of belonging.

While the film was emotive in presentation, its underlying message was strong enough to provoke discussion about everything from challenging the status quo, individuals’ own experiences of localisation and how this applies to our society.   

ELSC collaboratories are described as intimate events where like-minded emerging leaders meet to share, explore and challenge their way of thinking about topics related to the social sector.   A wonderful opportunity to be challenged in genuine debate about topical issues, the ELSC addresses the growing desire of gen-Y to meaningfully engage with the community while building successful careers in a range of commercial (and other) sectors.

If your corporate job has taught you something useful to others and you’re itching to share, don’t miss the next ELSC collaboratory on the innovative application of Design Thinking.  You might just learn something.

Buy tickets to future ELSC events at http://elsc.eventbrite.com/

Cancer: Meet it, treat it, beat it

Ben Peacock, author of Lessons from My Left Testicle, was at a buck’s weekend three days before surgeons were slicing open his stomach, “placing his guts on a tray” to remove his lymph nodes, and then squishing them back in. 

Experiencing sharp pains in his back, he told the audience at the Garvan Institute that he “did what he was supposed to do” – kept drinking alcohol to (unsuccessfully) ignore it.

25 year old stockbroker Tim Cussell put off visiting a doctor when strange symptoms (of what turned out to be Stage 3 bowel cancer) arose because of the unpleasant prospect of a stranger poking around his nether regions.  Finally finding time to visit a doctor, he was immediately booked into surgery and warned that he could die on the operating table.

Cancer; Meet it. Treat it. Beat it was the topic of the Young Garvan Forum’s most recent event on the 26 May.  Young Garvan was set up to educate and inform the seemingly bulletproof younger generation about health issues and the importance of medical research. 

Hearing the magic words “You. Have. Cancer” slams the door shut on one's previous life only to send them whirling through a vortex of hospitals, chemotherapy and radiation.  Ben told the forum how “everything in life is suddenly put on hold” – career, travel plans, plans to start a family - with all energy focussed on the daily rollercoastal of survival, specialists and treatments.

Medical oncologist Dr Catriona McNeil and Dr Darren Saunders, a senior lecturer in Medicine at UNSW provided tangible examples of recent medical research breakthroughs, stating that while cancer is the number one disease killer in the 18-40 year age group, survival rates have never been better.  Dr Andrew Penman, CEO of the Cancer Council NSW, emphasised cancer as a social issue with a heavy impact on both patients and the wider community.

With a newfound appreciation of how precarious life can be, Tim focused on enjoying what was great and letting go of the bad - bought an apartment, proposed to his girlfriend and changed careers.   He is organising a fundraising dinner for 2012 to raise funds for Lifehouse at RPA and the Bowel Cancer Institute.  As Ben Peacock soberly reminded us– “it’s not a given that everything will go according to plan”.

Lessons for the invincible Gen Y?

• Visit a GP when something doesn’t feel right
• You’re never too young to get your affairs in order
• It can happen to you – so keep an eye on the important things in life

Join the Young Garvan Events & Fiestas facebook group to be informed of future events.

*Photograph from http://www.learning.net.au/allribbons/younggarvan.html

When I have time...

How many times have you thought to yourself “when I have a little more time I would love to learn photography / write a blog / read more about politics”.

We’ve considered taking life-drawing classes, dreamed about learning to sail or surf, resolved to reinvent our non-work wardrobe and re-introduce a creative flair. When we have a bit more time.

On Friday evenings at après-work watering holes like Ryan's Bar and Ivy, we blend and mingle in our collars, blazers and celebrate the advent of the weekend. We air-kiss, shake hands and share drinks with like-minded young professionals, the ties loose and the shirts colourful in recognition that we’ve survived the week. We’ve closed the deals, reviewed the reports, turned off the laptops (though not the blackberry – never the blackberry).

Back in uni days, with time on our hands to write the blank pages of our future, we kept up to date with the latest fashions and invented our own. We experimented with music, discovered bars off the beaten track and supported friends’ bands playing at dodgy RSLs. We found excitement and difference down random lanes and sketched drawings of the characters that we found there. We volunteered for charities, learned about other cultures and looked forward to the future. We were all exploring, discovering and creating our individual worlds, in our own way.

Five to seven years later, and we have all chosen different paths. Those of us in the corporate world have been both thrilled by new intellectual challenges and bored by monotonous days in the office. We can walk the walk, click our heels in the lobby, make PC jokes and small talk with executives in the lift, and look fabulous in a suit.

We still love music, but haven’t had as much time to listen to the new band our friends are tweeting about. Absolutely love reading, but have banned ourselves from picking up novels until we’ve passed the mandatory technical exam for work. Can’t really justify spending as much on quirky fashions when five days a week demand classic and tailored “business casual”.

And after five years of focusing on our careers, we’re starting to realise that parts of ourselves have been neglected. That we could have another 30 years of working ahead of us – but there is more than that. The creative spark, the other dimensions of our personality, the colour – they’re still there. Lying dormant, slightly neglected, but slowly reemerging. We remember that life doesn’t have to be confined to evenings and weekends, that Wednesday wasn’t always a hump day.

I have friends who have recently quit jobs for a variety of reasons - pursue photography, start their own business, spend a few years travelling. For those of us who enjoy our jobs but know that there is more to us than just a square in a suit – how can we find a balance?